Monkey Drive Car!!!

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Jamz
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Monkey Drive Car!!!

Post by Jamz »

It's not good sitting back whilst life happens all around you. The only thing stopping me learning how to drive was me making that phone call and booking it up. Well, that and as I found out, there are a little over 400,000 driving instructors on every street in the UK to choose from. giraffe!

I emailed four of them who seemed to have the best deals going (and who had a website, obviously) and just after emailing the fourth with an enquiry they phoned me back! I said I could do my first lesson that very night, and that's exactly what happened!

With not even enough time to panic, a couple of hours later I'd scoffed some bacon and egg and was sat in a car ready to learn for the first time ever! At the grand age of thirty three!

We went through all the crap about checks, adjusting mirrors and seat etc, and within twenty minutes I was in the driving seat ready to go!

I gently pressed the accelerator pedal to hear the engine scream as the revs soared.

Going from fingertip control of the brakes, clutch and accelerator to using my big old hooves on the pedals was a bit of a shock. I couldn't believe how sensitive they were considering you're supposed to use your bloody feet to operate them!

The same goes for power steering. Speaking of which, I tend to use a steering wheel like a race driver - arms all crossed up, one hand on the gear lever, and ready to hold that powerslide! It looks cool, but I really have to get my head around the push-pull crappy method. Apparently this isn't a test requirement any more, but if I accidentally twist my arms so far that they snap off at the wrists during the test, the picky monkeys will probably fail me.

The gears weren't as much of a problem as I expected. I was getting a natural feel for where they all were by the end of the two hours, and only went from third gear into reverse once. Ahem. After using clutchless upshifts with a sequential box for the last ten years, I'm having to learn how to use the clutch again with it. I was also surprised that you're encouraged to skip gears rather than selecting each in turn when you move up and down the box.

All I did was use quiet country lanes and one short stretch of normal road, only making left turns, but I seemed to be making good progress, and didn't kill anyone - even the shitty little Jack Russell that was stood in the middle of the bloody lane barking at me whenever I drove past!

I didn't really do any observations, but my natural instincts are to check my mirrors anyway, so that should help for future lessons.

The instructor seemed pretty cool - we had a laugh and it was very relaxed, which is exactly how I like to learn new stuff. I might try a few other instructors, but to be honest I doubt I'll find anyone I'm as comfortable with as that one (Brian). I may as well take advantage of some of the 'first lesson' offers around - after all I'm the one who has to decide who to train with! I think it's best to do a few lessons with Brian to get me settled in a car so I'm a bit more used to things, though.

So I'm finally on the road to, err... being on the road! On four wheels!

Oh - something else that sparked this somewhat unexpected lesson off: the day before I'd unexpectedly acquired a car!

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No - not the Lotus Esprit V8 I'd always promised myself as a first car, but a 1 litre Fiat Uno.

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Living the dream...

I was glad to jump on the 190mph superbike to ride to work this morning, I have to say...
Who needs tyres when you've got knees!! :twisted:

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zimm
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Re: Monkey Drive Car!!!

Post by zimm »

lol, nice one ..

i didnt get a car licence till I was 28 or something .. my job needed me to be able to drive so my boss paid for 2 lessons and the test.. instructor was a retired roadie, had bikes, nattered about touring with iron maiden .. good bloke.

first unnacompainied drive after passing ?

driving a 1987 porsche 911 targa supersport through bristol flatout and trying to keep up with my boss on his triumph daytona.. fun fun fun ..

watch out for making stupid mistakes through being thoroughly under-stimulated compared to being on a bike .. in my first few months on 4 wheels i managed to spin a daimler sovereign, lotus elise and the 911 twice.. (all without damage.. I saved that up for when i totalled the aston shocking) reckon it took a couple of years before I really got the hang of 4 wheels.
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Jamz
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Re: Monkey Drive Car!!!

Post by Jamz »

That doesn't sound like you had a bad time easing onto 4 wheels!

I think I'll be hard-pressed to get a spin out of the Fiat whatever I do... vsad
Who needs tyres when you've got knees!! :twisted:

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Re: Monkey Drive Car!!!

Post by Vard66 »

Tbh, you'd be hard pressed not to get a spin out of an earlier 911.
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Re: Monkey Drive Car!!!

Post by cargo »

I didn't learn to drive a car untill I was 35 and then it was only so I could drive a van for my race bikes................

I failed the test 3 times before I passed..........first test was a fail cos the examiner said the car was not mechinicaly fit to use ??? ?? His eat wobbled a bit when he got in LOL

Second fail was because I forgot to bring my driving licence with me...................... :wanker

Third fail was a numpty cutting me up and I let rip with a few chioce comments at him.............examiner was terrified :pmsl

Got it 4th attempt and glad of it cos 2 months later the rules changed and a normal car licence was limited to 3.5 ton.................I've got 7.5 ton and I've used it :excited
zimm
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Re: Monkey Drive Car!!!

Post by zimm »

old fiats can be a laugh,
PDC photos 2 079.jpg
im driving the tempra on the left, jodie's at the wheel of "onslo" the uno .. Ceri's providing the entertainment
PDC photos 2 074.jpg
I later rolled the tempra, and Tom fell off the uno on a motorway.. got away with a broken foot and some gravel rash
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Jamz
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Re: Monkey Drive Car!!!

Post by Jamz »

cargo wrote:Third fail was a numpty cutting me up and I let rip with a few chioce comments at him.............examiner was terrified :pmsl
LOL! :smt003

I'm not expecting to pass first time, but at least there's no real pressure on me to do that, either.

Other than being able to take the wench away places (she won't come on the bike), the other reason for getting a car is, like you, to maybe get a trailer on the back for a track bike. Looking at the DVLA site today, it looks like you have to do another test to be able to tow a trailer though? shocking And the test fees for everything take the piss...

Ah well, it'll be better on the snow and ice...
Who needs tyres when you've got knees!! :twisted:

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Re: Monkey Drive Car!!!

Post by RedexRobB »

LOL @ zimm, crazy!!!

I had trouble with fitting into bike sized gaps in a car, my brain was telling me i could fit and my instructor was telling me the opposite. Other than that my learning curve was pretty much normal, failed my first test for.....wait for it..... going too slow :wanker I was doing 30 in a national speed limit zone, only had 3 minors tho. Got it 2nd time with 7 minors. first car was a Golf GTi 8 valve, with 2nd gear wheel spins. However, i owned it for about a month and then sold it as i split up with my girlfriend and no longer had any use for it. :smt003
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Jamz
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Re: Monkey Drive Car!!!

Post by Jamz »

Second Strike, Still Deadly...

Err, or I could have titled this "Second Lesson, Still A Bit toad", but I didn't, so there!

Last night was my second ever driving lesson. I knew I was cocking up with my crossed-up go-kart steering technique, and so would have to work on the crappy 'feeding the wheel' through stuff.

I was considering buying one of those steering wheel jobbies for my Xbox to get some practise in on Forza II... As I didn't, over the weekend I even thought about picking up a frisbee, or a dinner plate, or a small round dog just to have a go at practising. Instead I had a few drinks and may have touched some titty.

The time came, and Brian (the instructor) drove me to the small quiet circuit I'd used last time, demonstrating the steering technique on the way. As it happens, touching some titty was the way to go, as when I took over, whilst not perfect, I was doing it just fine!

Not only that, but instead of doing a few left-turn-only circuits of the route like I was expecting, I started straight off going around so I was doing all right turns at the junctions, and after doing that twice we headed off down some dual carriageway to drive around the 'scenic' town of Redditch.

This was amazing to me, but I was doing ok. Once I hit the accelerator instead of the brake, but caught it quickly with no disaster...

I'm still not properly doing all the observations that I should, but I think that's what I'll be working on in the next lesson.

I actually drove the car all the way back home - which I never expected to be doing for a lonnnnng time, as I live on an awkward road and would rather not trash all my neighbours shoddily parked cars. For the next lesson I'll be jumping straight in the drivers seat and driving right from the start.

Still a long way to go, and the slow speed manoeuvres may well still kill me, but I seem to have made a huge jump, and can feel there will be others.

It's good to have an instructor who will push me to do more than I would if it was my choice, but I guess that's just confidence.

We're getting there, and I still haven't killed any kittens, small children, or Gypsies.

Sorted.

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Who needs tyres when you've got knees!! :twisted:

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