I Ar Serious Driver. This Ar Serious Test.

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Jamz
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I Ar Serious Driver. This Ar Serious Test.

Post by Jamz »

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So after around 23 lessons, the Test Day was finally upon me.

I don't get nervous for exams. Even driving on the lesson immediately before my test I only had around three small pangs of adrenalin when I thought about the challenge ahead. I was thinking that I knew how to drive, so what was the difference who sat next to me telling me what to do? Brian, my instructor had trained me up well and did a good job on the day of relaxing me and building the confidence up - as it was I was driving perfectly anyway!

I sat in the test centre waiting to be called, getting a bit more nervous now. I was comparing it to the feeling I get on a trackday, and trying to use that same focus. The problem is that compared to preparing to go out onto a race circuit on a strange bike to do 170+ mph REALLY doesn't compare to being about to pootle around to get a damned car license! I guess when your goal posts for what constitutes 'drama' in life have been moved so drastically forwards, it helps with the lesser stuff.

I really wanted to pass, but my reasons were more for convenience than necessity... I tried to keep the focus as I signed the paperwork and walked with Colin - my examiner - out to the car.

First he asked me to open the bonnet (that's "pop the hood" to you Yanks) and show him where I'd fill the car with windscreen wash. Nice and easy! Then we got into the car and he asked me another question which I can't remember! Maybe it was about checking tyre pressures? These are all set 'Show and Tell' type questions, and very easy, anyway.

I started up and pulled out of the test centre trying to stay relaxed and taking it easy - I was behind another learner on their test who was slower than a three-legged dog, which wasn't helping. I was driving well until we came to a right turn, when Cunty-Bollock in front was taking it so slowly I reached the point where I had to either stall or get the handbrake on (this was also on a hill) - I chose to risk it... lost the biting point of the clutch, started rolling backwards towards the car behind, floored the throttle to try and catch it on the revs, and made the turn.

"That wasn't very good." I said. No answer... I thought that could fail me. It was certainly borderline.

Trying not to get flustered, he asked me to pull into the side of the road. When I pulled off I realised all I'd done was check my rear view mirror and side mirror - missing the other three observations I should have made! Oh f*** my life! He made me pull over another few times and I made sure I did ALL the checks hoping he'd let me off...

He asked me to try reversing around a really awkward corner that was uphill with a nightmare curb to follow. I'm not very good at using the gas on the manoeuvers. I let it roll on the clutch, so to try this on a hill too steep to do that was a giraffe. I dabbed the throttle and keep it controlled, despite having to stop about 10 times for other vehicles, which I was hoping I'd reacted to quickly enough for him. This was not looking great for the Cater Kid...

More driving around (flawlessly, I thought) and then I was told to do the Turn In The Road. I nailed it. Perfect control and obs.

I pulled out of it to drive off and I'd put the fucker in third gear!!! ARGHH!!! It stalled in the middle of the road at an angle and I just thought that was the test over!

"I don't BELIEVE I've just put it in third!" I said, to no answer again.

What an absolute giraffe! I was flushed and rattled, knowing that was it, now. He asked me to pull into the side of the road straight after, and I honestly thought he might tell me he was terminating the test because I was dangerous, or something.

He asked me to drive on, and I thought about just fucking it all in and driving like shite all the way back - I decided to just stick with it and try and make the rest as perfect as I could. I had no hope, but thought I may as well try... I felt like absolute crap.

We got back to the test centre and I felt bad as I saw Brian stood waiting, book in hand like an expectant Father. I'd let him down.

I was asked to park in one of the bays, and I drove straight in, stopping at a bit of an angle and even asking the examiner if he wanted me to straighten it up? To my surprise he said I was pretty much in the bay, and I could just drive forward, turning a little more and that would do.

I switched off as Brian came to the window to hear the debrief.

"The test is now over and despite-"

f*** me! I thought - what does he mean 'despite'? This sounds a bit good!

"-a few errors I'm pleased to tell you that you've passed."

I couldn't believe it!!!!

I thanked him profusely and tried to figure out how the Hell I'd done it, as he waffled on about the errors to Brian - as it turned out I only got FOUR minor errors out of the allowed fifteen!

I got out and Brian gave me a big old hug, obviously chuffed to bits for me, and of course I thanked him, too!

So that's it! I'm on the road in a car now!

Maybe I'll start vlogging from inside the Fiat??
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Re: I Ar Serious Driver. This Ar Serious Test.

Post by RedexRobB »

Congrats mate, well done. I did my test back when it was easy, so to do it now when its supposedly harder is great.

Failed mine first time on one major, going too slowly! Only 3 minors otherwise. Got it 2nd time round with 7 minors, and thought id failed it again.
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Re: I Ar Serious Driver. This Ar Serious Test.

Post by Jamz »

RedexRobB wrote:Congrats mate, well done. I did my test back when it was easy, so to do it now when its supposedly harder is great.

Failed mine first time on one major, going too slowly! Only 3 minors otherwise. Got it 2nd time round with 7 minors, and thought id failed it again.
Tar! :smt001

I suppose that other than the couple of mistakes (and my own nerves after them), the test was pretty easy, really... I mean, all I did was drive around like he told me to, and if I'd found that hard I shouldn't have been taking the test!

That said, I came a Hell of a long way in the 2 or 3 months since my first lesson, and undoubtedly having 10 years on a bike did help with the road sense and handling speed etc.

They're changing the test again next month - they'll get you to Place A and then tell you to get to Place B without any guidance from them and just using road signs (or a sat nav?). No women will ever pass again! :pmsl
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Re: I Ar Serious Driver. This Ar Serious Test.

Post by masterofinsanity »

well done mate, passed mine 20 years ago oldman what kept ya? :excited
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Re: I Ar Serious Driver. This Ar Serious Test.

Post by rabidnz »

23 lessons?
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Re: I Ar Serious Driver. This Ar Serious Test.

Post by Jamz »

masterofinsanity wrote:well done mate, passed mine 20 years ago oldman what kept ya? :excited
No bloody idea! Considering I've been an absolute car nut all my life it's a bit strange!

:smt003

I have already secured a test drive in a Formula Vee single seat race car, though... :smt004

rabidnz - I think it's around 23 lessons. I had 30 hours total marked on my card, but at first I was doing 2 hour lessons... It's supposed to be around the average.
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Re: I Ar Serious Driver. This Ar Serious Test.

Post by RedexRobB »

Id done about 20 hours upto my first attempt, 30 by the time i got to it and passed 2nd time round.
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Re: I Ar Serious Driver. This Ar Serious Test.

Post by masterofinsanity »

think i had about 30 lessons.....mainly cos i stopped half way through for about 8 months, was too busy getting pissed :smt003
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Re: I Ar Serious Driver. This Ar Serious Test.

Post by Jamz »

Were you all drivers before you were bikers, or did you do it the awkward way like me? :smt003
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Re: I Ar Serious Driver. This Ar Serious Test.

Post by RedexRobB »

I did bike test first. So the akward way. My instructor usually had to remind me I wasn't on my bike, especially when I was going for bike sized gaps.........
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Re: I Ar Serious Driver. This Ar Serious Test.

Post by Danman109 »

My Driving test(s) before my biking life were rather interesting.. or frustrating should i say..

The first examiner i had was a sullen woman and while i did everything as well as i could attempting to pull out of a junction onto a main road, the corner shop had one of these pathway signs which made it impossible to see if any cars were coming.. no problem, i did as i was taught and crept forward untill i could see, upon which the oncoming car stopped and flashed me out, fine i thought! i waited for the traffic in the other direction to stop and i went to pull out.. (heres where is gets interesting) the car BEHIND the one that let me out went for the overtake as i was pulling out and we almost met in the middle :smt018 Fail number 1 (alledgedly an observation fail... my x-ray vision through cars wasnt working that day)

The next fail was travelling along a road with parked cars either side, whereas i knew i could make it between the oncoming car and the parked cars my examiner had other ideas and executed an emergency stop (dual controls) and said "you cant fit through there" as the oncoming car sails merrily past my door :smt013 so i failed on two accounts.. a freak occurance of stupid driving by someone else.. and an interfering examiner..

No problem, no hard feelings it just wasnt my day, I booked another test in the hope it would go better next time.

Low and behold when my name was called for test no. 2 the sullen woman made her second appearance.
Aha! i thought, ok now i know what to expect.. everything went beautifully during the test untill the cars on either side of the road situation appeared again, I knew exactly what to do! I waited... and waited... and waited.. untill it was clear for me to go through this resulted in being failed for hesitation :smt013 i was SO mad!

i spoke with my intructor about appealing and how i can ensure i do not get the same woman again but nothing could be done..


third time lucky?

Thanks goodness a reasonable happy looking bloke came out to take me on my test.. everything went fine (including going through the gap with cars either side) we got back to the test centre and he gave me a stern look and said I had a minor for speeding only because i noticed and slowed down again.. :smt002 but i passed FINALLY!


never had an accident in a car never got a speeding ticket.. untill that is i got a 125.. but thats another story :smt011
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Re: I Ar Serious Driver. This Ar Serious Test.

Post by cargo »

stalling is only a minor in fact I dont think it counts against you at all

If you follow the proper procedure after a stall your fine.............


I took four goes to get my car test done first time the guy refused to do the test cos he considered the car "unfit" ?? it was a very scruffy mini metro

I was very nearly 36 before I finally passed after 6 months of lessons and failure.

And I just managed to get passed before the rules changed so I have a 7.5 ton licence........now days the car test only gets you a 3.5
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Re: I Ar Serious Driver. This Ar Serious Test.

Post by Jamz »

Bloody hell I was only just telling someone on another forum I'd only passed my car test a year ago! Blast from the past!

Anyway, a year on and......... I've found that I actually do quite enjoy driving! :smt012

I'm still in my ex-Mums 1994 Fiat Uno 1 litre, and despite having insurance nobody else has let me drive their car. Despite this, it can still be almost as involving as the bike - picking lines, making sure each gear change is perfect and fast, balancing the car through the corners on throttle and brakes. And of course drifting a little.

It all seems like slow-motion driving a car, so it's hard to get it wrong! Snow was more fun than on a sportsbike, although to be honest the car was pretty much as stuck as athe bike in the deep snow last Winter. I did get out a few times in it to experience spinning up, sliding, and it's the only time my handbrake had the strength to get the back spinning (I did a PERFECT handbrake turn into a parking space at the cinema, with my suitably unimpressed gf sat next to me). :smt003

Funds got fkd with a redundancy, so I still haven't had a blast in a Formula Vee single-seater yet and racing one looks wayyyyyy off at the moment, but I'm also karting a bit these days.

Oh, and one of the first things I DID do after passing was booking a skid-control course, to get the feel of things when everything does go wrong in a car - using a FWD Ford Orion and a RWD Ford Sierra. Bloody marvelous, and a shame the option isn't really there to do the same thing on a bike!

As you'll see from my videos on YouTube, I haven't turned into a fair weather biker, but it is nice to have the option when there's ice out there... I should have done it years ago!
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