Cleaners

[Jamz]

The heading should really be 'cleaners'. At work.

There are two breeds of Work Cleaners.

There are the Hitler Units, all with short, permed hair (School Dinner Lady style beards are optional), matching smocks, trolleys designed to clean up a continent after a nuclear war, and a very focused, military method of GETTING ZE VORK DONE TOTT!!!!

And there are the lazy-assed retired slobs who come in with their big podgy hands and do pretty much bugger-all.

Where I work we have this latter breed. Sometimes, if you leave a cup on your desk, you will find it washed and back in the cupboard in the morning. Sometimes it will still be there.

There is no method or pattern to this. The rest of your desk will or won't be 'cleaned' regardless of whether the cup is there or not.

They must be under instructions not to move anything on the desks, and even if you leave a post-it note they will not clean within a foot of it. Or under your keyboard. Or around your phone.

This morning, I could see quite clearly a semi-circle on my desk with cloth-wiped markings.

I wasn't fooled into assuming this was the one 'clean' patch on my desk. On closer inspection, this 'clean' patch looked more like it had been made by some greasy Italian with an afro wiping their head across the desk. Or possibly by someone dropping their pants and using their ass-crack hair as a cloth.

Before touching it, I wiped over the wiped spot with a clean tissue.

It turned it black.

I don't even want to think about what my elbows are resting in as I type this.

[rene]

intresting fact, your desk holds somthing like 100 times more bacteria than your avarage toilet seat and its the most unhealthy place to eat your lunch...

my desk has loads of post it notes spred all over hte place along with chewed pens and coffe, god i hate my job

[deviant]

intresting fact, your desk holds somthing like 100 times more bacteria than your avarage toilet seat

interesting "fact", or interesting use of statistics to prove nothing.

Same thing is quoted about your kitchen surfaces in a frequently shown TV ad, aimed, funnily enough at flogging kitchen cleaner. Yes, it's absolutely true. But it doesn't mean that you are safer eating your dinner off the toilet seat.

What it neglects to mention, is the hundreds of thousands of bacteria in your kitchen are for the large part completely harmless. They are in your kitchen, they are everywhere else, you breathe them in all the time. While there are fewer bacteria on your toilet seat, they are usually fairly nasty ones.

Our office cleaner has no problem randomly shuffling anything left on your desk. My first five minutes of the morning are generally spent retrieving my keyboard, mouse, etc from wherever they have ended up.

[superman]

deviant thats exactly what i have to do but the latest trick from em is i arrive at 8 in the morning so i start my computer.find my keyboard an mouse an sort the papers randomly swoshed round my desk :smt013 then i wana get out these sticky leathers an freshen up for the day i get to the toilet an AHHHHHHH theres a note on the door CLEANING IN PROGRESS so i have to wait 5 mins till they finish then i go in to get changed an would you believe it the floor is wet with a bleach mix so i have to get changed without touching the floor in a toilet thats full of fumes. its a real art gettin the leather trousers off an work ones on without letting you work trousers dip in the bleachy floor an turn white....... they have only started cleanin em at this new time over the last few days thoe. if its the same monday im goin in 15mins early tuesday for a fat sh*t to stink the place out that ul show em an cheer me up lol

[mycallsevern]

I'm not sure we even have a cleaner, there is a guy who walks around with a mop tutting at stuff but my desk never gets cleaned and my bin never emptied, even now it is over flowing with last weeks yes last weeks food wrappers it makes me realise how much rubbish I eat.

[f17th]

There is something you can do about it,

Empty the bin yourself jeeez


The cleaners at my work do a good job at cleaning up, especially becuase half the people here dont clean up after themselves, They will have food cereal or whatever and just leave the bowl in the sink !
That does pi** me off, If they spend work time eating that shi* why cant they clean up.

I have to clean my own office as i lock the door on the way out each night, Expensive computer parts and the likes.

[masterofinsanity]

i think once in a blue moon stuff on my desk is touched even tho the cleaners come in every weekend, must be the skull and gargoyle i have sat staring at me that scares em off, funnily everyone elses desk looks clean on a monday, maybe they think they will get cursed if they touch my stuff?

[mycallsevern]

There is something you can do about it,

Empty the bin yourself jeeez

Sorry I don't think you understand, I am far to busy doing important things like making private phone calls and posting on internet forums to do things such as empty my own bin.

[deviant]

Sorry I don't think you understand, I am far to busy doing important things like making private phone calls and posting on internet forums to do things such as empty my own bin.

[superman]

besides its the job role my role is designing and there's is emptying the bins etc etc. we have a dishwasher at work an a cook so all the washing up stuff is taken care of.