Is It 'D*ckhead Monday'? (Protect Yourself, Grasshopper)

We have a resident rant and raver here at ZXRworld, come and say hello to Jamz.Wanna join him? got something to get off your chest? let it all out................
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Jamz
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Is It 'D*ckhead Monday'? (Protect Yourself, Grasshopper)

Post by Jamz »

Does a memo or something go out every weekend inviting any d*ckhead with access to a vehicle onto the roads?

Because that's what seems to happen every Monday!

Perhaps after a weekend of binge drinking, everyone forgets how to drive?
My lunchtime highlights consisted of 3 attempts on my life and another 3 of what I can only assume were escaped orangutans who had stolen cars.

Of extra special note is the blind, ignorant plonker who, when seeing a bike driving through Morrisons carpark, headlight ablaze, decided to turn right across my path when I was less than 10ft away. Everyone else thought he was a d*ckhead, too, judging by their headshakes and scowls. He tried his best to ignore my gesticulations, bless him. Hope he doesn't get suffocated by a naked fat man with a skin disease sitting on his face - it would break my fokkin heart.

Also to the 'faultless' driver of the white minivan, who consistently drove at 25-30mph in a clearly marked 40mph zone for a mile, and not content with the growing queue of annoyed people behind him, decided to stop dead in the middle of the main road to allow a car to turn right out of a sidestreet.

Luckily my special 'Wally Radar' was switched on, and so I stopped alongside the van expecting the car to appear in front of me. A big handful of revs may have woken him up as I pulled away.

On a brighter note, it appears I have a passenger on my VFR!

There's a bright green grasshopper sat on top of my dashboard! He appears to like the higher dual carriageway speeds, as he turned around, no doubt hanging his little tongue out into the breeze like a happy dog.

He probably hitched a ride from my home this morning, but I didn't notice him on that 10 mile blast. The local village grasshoppers seem very fond of riding on my bike, and if they can hang on have been known to travel miles with me all the way back home!

Is it just me they like to ride with?

Strange when you consider I'm quite well known for having eaten several of them whole and alive...

Maybe they just like living dangerously?

Either way, I'll protect the little green runt from all the Monday D*ckheads!
Who needs tyres when you've got knees!! :twisted:

View my Blog: http://blog.myspace.com/nastyevilninja

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superman
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Re: Is It 'D*ckhead Monday'? (Protect Yourself, Grasshopper)

Post by superman »

hmmm i had an altercation this mornin with some white van man, they see you filtering so they come into the centre more to block you from goin on, i need a glass hammer to do the windows on em as i scream past further up the road i think.
Remember speed kills, so does smoking, drinking, drugs, fast food and many more good things
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Re: Is It 'D*ckhead Monday'? (Protect Yourself, Grasshopper)

Post by f17th »

Got a foot havent you ??
Just give the side a boot as you go past...
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Re: Is It 'D*ckhead Monday'? (Protect Yourself, Grasshopper)

Post by Caz »

f17th wrote:Got a foot havent you ??
Just give the side a boot as you go past...
not a good idea as they can then claim off your bike insurance for any damage you do. Also gives bikers a bad name
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superman
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Re: Is It 'D*ckhead Monday'? (Protect Yourself, Grasshopper)

Post by superman »

when someone almost kills me i couldnt give a monkys about giving bikers a bad name i often stop alongside ppl to give em abuse, this mornin i would have ripped the door of this van that thought it was cool to turn out on me filtering i only missed him cos i gave it a handful it wouldnt have been so bad if A/ there was a right turn for him to go down but the entrance to his shop was about 50 meters up the traffic but he couldnt wait. & B/ he left more than 1 flash of the indicator before moving off. i never felt rage like that i swear i would have ripped his van door off the only thing that stopped me was the fact me clutch cable broke so i couldnt stop it if i did i wouldnt have been able to continue on thus gettin done by the police :-(
Remember speed kills, so does smoking, drinking, drugs, fast food and many more good things
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