Sods First Law

We have a resident rant and raver here at ZXRworld, come and say hello to Jamz.Wanna join him? got something to get off your chest? let it all out................
Post Reply
User avatar
Vard66
zxr400 oc member
zxr400 oc member
Posts: 823
Joined: Tue Apr 22, 2008 3:07 am
My Bike: Coming soon; hopefully...
Location: Swindon Area, Wiltshire.

Sods First Law

Post by Vard66 »

... states that anything that; even in theory or hypothesis, can go wrong, will go wrong.

About a month ago, my keyboard started giving me grief.

I could be typing a perfectly acceptable sentence, but then the ke[p[[;;;|||||||||||||||||||||||||||'|'||'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|@|@|'|'|'|'|'|'.. kkkshppkll;;;|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'|'

... and on it would go, until I unplugged it, all this without me pressing any buttons whatsoever.

I put the keyboard aside for inspection at a later day, and was in fact given a brand new logitech budget type keyboard by one of my friends, and this worked a treat for a little while. Then the 'e' key stopped working quite so well. I adapted, and began using a screwdriver - stuck into the keyboard - almost like a paddle gear lever, to press the 'e'. This worked until the 'o' stopped working quite so well, too. I have to admit to you all, I got fecked off enough with it that I threw the keyboard out of the front door in a rage one night, and it wound up under the wheels of mother's Subaru. So I was in need of a new keyboard.

I went shopping, and decided to simply buy a budget as you could get stylee jobby just to fill the gap for the time being till I could afford a nice top spec Logitech one. I wound up buying a Woolworths 'Worth it' range keyboard for £6.

Boy did it feel like it. That stupid little fucking shitty thing had buttons in all the wrong places, it wasn't even anywhere NEAR standard layout, the buttons didn't press half the time, didn't work, it was flimsy, and possibly the most stupid thing of all, had the insert, delete, home, end, pg up and down keys, jammed together as normal, but then also had a 'sleep', 'wake' and 'power' key below them, so half the time you went to hit 'end' you wound up turning the PC off, and that gets old VERY quickly, believe you me.

So, gave up with that one and stopped browsing/using the PC at all for a while, until I clocked that one of my mates PC had died, so I nicked both his keyboard and webcam, for funsies.

That's what I'm using now, and hopefully, it'll not die, because then I'll owe him a keyboard, and I'll have a room containing no less than four dead keyboards, all killed within a month of each other, and I'm really getting sick of this toad.

Throughout all this, I was telling folks 'oh, my keyboard is dead, but this mouse is BRILLIANT - it's taken just as much abuse and is still going strong!'. Right? No. Wrong, fuckwad.

The mouse died on me last night.

I'm not a happy chap, but both the Mouse (which cost me £53) and the original keyboard (£65) are under warranty, so I'm trying to get hold of the retailer who sold me them, in order to get them replaced under warranty. Still no word, and it's been four days since I sent the e-mail, so I'm getting tense.

There's a lovely, well rounded fucking irony to the mouse dying. Just about the last thing I did with the mouse before it just upped and croaked it, was to order £130 worth of airsoft gear. Turns out, I could have probably used that money to do something about the FUCKING MOUSE.

Also, I have the MSN virus AGAIN. I really can't be arsed to remove that toad while I've got no mouse and an unfamiliar keyboard.

So, PC issues.

On to the airsoft gear order. Straightforward process? Not any fucking more, it isn't. Since the passing of the VCRA (Violent Crime Reduction Act) in 2005, which came into enactment in 2007, it's become a requirement for airsoft skirmishers to prove their legitimate status by attending three recorded skirmishes, and obtatining stamps and a membership number to UKARA (United Kingdom Airsoft Retailers Assosciation) in order to buy new guns. Ok, that's fine, I've done that, got my last stamp on my birthday, as a matter of fact, back in October. Sorted.

So the other day I drove on my day off, to the nearest branch of the Skipton Building Society to me, which turned out to be Oxford. So I drove to Oxford to get money out to get this gun, and wound up leaving at 5, so stuck in traffic for nearly an hour, before I even got back to the fucking A34 to start heading home. Car nearly overheated about eight times.

So, I got hold of land warrior airsoft, to enquire about stock. I was told at this point that because it was the run up to Christmas, they had no stock left, furthermore, because the Chinese New Year, (the relevance is that the RealSword Ak47 is a Chinese made weapon, for those wondering), is just after Christmas (or just before Christmas, or sometime fucking soon, anyway), noone will be shipping more stock till late January. Fucking great. £250 sitting there doing jack all till February.

Thinking about it harder, I decided to buy the desert eagle before the Ak in that case, as I know it was in stock on a few sites, and I know it's a lot cheaper, as an interim. So I went to fire-support, to discover that because the dollar is growing in strength against the pound with such rapidity and fathoms of movement, the $520 that represents the RS Ak in the US, realises closer to something like £360 in the UK now, instead of £270ish. This means that the desert eagle had been bumped up in price by £25. Fuckers.
Perturbed somewhat, I went to zero-one airsoft, who, I discovered were in fact still carrying the gun at the £80 mark instead of the £105 F-S were asking. Checked stock, bought it, and a couple of accessories, a mag, some gas, some ammo, etc, etc.

Got a phonecall from zero-one today. Fuckers don't have any stock for the desert eagle after all, do they? Won't have till February, will they?

So now, I've got no new guns till Feb, and all I'm getting in the parcel coming now, is some BBs, some propellant gas, some lubricant gas, and a spare magazine for a gun that I'm not getting till February time.

This toad is starting to really, REALLY f*** me off.

I've all but given up on browsing for the most part, and have been trying instead to play Call of Duty 4 on my 360, online. Problems there, too. Firstly because the 360 is dying, and keeps trying to convince us of two things, a) that it's not an XBox at all, and won't play XBox games, and b) that all the games we own are in fact DVDs. Oh, and also it will freeze before getting into the game's main menu half the time.

I also only have a half-meg internet connection, so anytime I DO get into a game, I lag badly enough that the 360 is giving me false endings to all my encounters - a-la I find a guy, start chasing him down, get close and fire on him, fire on him some more when the bullets don't kill him, fire some more, and chase up to him, stab him with my knife. Then the game goes 'Oh no no no no no no no. That's not what really happened, here, look!' Whenceupon, I am whisked away back halfway across the map to where I first saw the guy, and suddenly, randomly, inexplicably, drop dead, without any information about who killed me or how.

Either that, or another I get a lot of, is that I find the guy, chase him down, and shoot him, and he does in fact die. I confirm that he dies by the writing coming up on the screen saying 'VARD66 *kill symbol, gun specific* (namelessfacelessman)' or whatever. I turn around to look for another opponent, find none, turn back, and namelessfaceless kills me with an assault rifle, while he's lying on the ground dead.

AND ALL THE MILK IN THE FUCKING HOUSE HAS TURNED.

I swear to god. I'm going to kill. I don't know how or when, but it's really going to happen, and it's going to be messy.
Last edited by Vard66 on Sun Jan 04, 2009 1:13 am, edited 2 times in total.
Vard.
_________________
1997 Volvo 850 R
Image
cargo
zxr400 oc member
zxr400 oc member
Posts: 3341
Joined: Sat Jan 08, 2005 10:33 am
My Bike: tomos moped
Location: Carrickfergus Northern Ireland

Re: Sods First Law

Post by cargo »

Thats is one top of the range A1 rant.................love it
User avatar
CaNsA
zxr400 oc member
zxr400 oc member
Posts: 1741
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2008 4:02 pm
My Bike: ZX6R F1
Location: Liverpool

Re: Sods First Law

Post by CaNsA »

I usually cant be arsed reading massivly huge posts.

But mate, this is freakin awesome.
Sux to be you?

:pmsl :pmsl :pmsl :pmsl
Moderator & Skilled Ban Hammer Operator!
Has this forum helped you out? Say thanks by donating some of your hard earned cash towards running costs.

:: <=-LOADED TELLY BOXES - NO CONTRACT - NO SUBSCRIPTION - PM ME-=> ::
User avatar
Jamz
zxr400 oc member
zxr400 oc member
Posts: 2034
Joined: Tue Sep 17, 2002 4:21 pm
My Bike: Kawasaki ZX9-R C2
Location: Alvechurch, Near Birmingham
Contact:

Re: Sods First Law

Post by Jamz »

:smt003

I was just going to offer commiserations, until I got to this bit:
Vard66 wrote:.AND ALL THE MILK IN THE FUCKING HOUSE HAS TURNED.
Seems like you're looking at a bad first stage case fo Biblical Plague!

I think you have to paint a cross on your door over Christmas, or something...? :smt017
Who needs tyres when you've got knees!! :twisted:

View my Blog: http://blog.myspace.com/nastyevilninja

Image
User avatar
masterofinsanity
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 8101
Joined: Thu Aug 29, 2002 12:36 am
My Bike: Aprilia Tuono Fighter
Location: England
Contact:

Re: Sods First Law

Post by masterofinsanity »

Vard66 wrote:...
I swear to god. I'm going to kill. I don't know how or when, but it's really going to happen, and it's going to be messy.
thank F*** them guns are out of stock :smt005
Don't forget people there is more to the zxr400 than this forum... check out www.zxrworld.co.uk also.
User avatar
Vard66
zxr400 oc member
zxr400 oc member
Posts: 823
Joined: Tue Apr 22, 2008 3:07 am
My Bike: Coming soon; hopefully...
Location: Swindon Area, Wiltshire.

Re: Sods First Law

Post by Vard66 »

Inevitably, predictably, another PC part gave up the ghost the other night. I've been without internet for two days until this evening, because my wireless network adapter stick broke. Tried re-soldering it, but it wasn't having any of it, and snapped, leaving the metal part of the USB male socket in my PC itself.

Motherfucker.

So I had one of my friends pick me up the same dongle again, working with what I knew - can't go wrong because the PC has been working with exactly the same item for months, right?

Wrong, fuckwit.

Figured that because the one that broke was a Belkin 54G and the new one is a Belkin 54G, I didn't need to reinstall the software, logical, no?

Plugged it into the PC, and the PC said 'new device detected'. Then nothing. Couldn't get the wireless network box to come up, at all.

So, swearing profusely, I gave up, put the disc in and booted it up, did the install, (struggling to click on the right 'install' option on the stupid fucking artsy installer window while working without a mouse), and plugged the dongle back in.

The PC went 'oh, look, it's a Belkin 54G Wireless Network Adapter! ..... Windows can't configure those.'

*facepalm*

Lots of fucking around later, here I am again. It's taken me an hour and a half to get the computer to recognise and accept and make use of a device it's got;

a) cookies stored for,
b) the drivers for already installed,
c) the motherfucking SOFTWARE for, already installed,
d) the gods-be-gloating helpdesk software for already installed...

And which it's been using to get internet through since JANUARY.

Oh, and plus the Rover's not playing ball either, the coolant is going utterly tits up and haywire.

I'm a tad fecked off this evening also.
Vard.
_________________
1997 Volvo 850 R
Image
Post Reply