www.zxrworld.co.uk

Right, first off, even that title pisses me off. It's fucking CHRISTMAS - not 'the holiday season' or whatever you dumb cunts keep trying to change it to!

I'm not religious, but even I know it's bloody Christmas!

Stop. It.

This year, I've managed to do almost all my CHRISTMAS shopping online. I'm sure most others will be able to say the same.

So how in the blue-knobbed CHRIST are you all still pissing about in the shops like a bunch of stray mental patients???

It's Hell out there! I've recently started using one of those self-scan thingies at the local supermarket to dodge the queues, but now all the Christmas Numpties have caught on to it, too. Except that they can't fucking grasp the concept of scanning the bar code on an item and then putting it in the designated area. Look, it's hard, so f*** off back to the tills and let me get on with it!

And what's happened to all those smug monkeys who started their Christmas shopping back in July? I'll tell you what's happened - they're in those giraffe crowds of shoppers still!

Next year, if you tell me you've started buying Christmas presents before mid-November "to beat the rush", I am going to kick you in the Camel. Hard.

And yes, I do understand that the majority of the braindead twats shuffling about the place are buying essentials like food for Christmas. And let me just tell you something:

THE SHOPS ARE CLOSED FOR ABOUT TWENTY FOUR FUCKING HOURS!

You're not going to starve to death! Stop buying like there's a nuclear war coming, then we can all relax and just shop normally!

And what's with all the wheelchairs and stuff?

Is it just me, or is every cripple in the UK out for a joyride at peak shopping times this year?

It's no wonder Woolworths went bust - I couldn't even get to the damn stuff for Wheeley Old People (get it???) in Shopmobility carts, fatties being wheeled around on oversized skateboards, and any other immobile Camel they can put wheels on and push into the busiest crowd they can. And yes, this includes YOU, with your pushchair that's bigger than a 1950's Cadillac!

And all this to the lovely accompaniment of the same songs we've heard every shitting year after year after year after year after year...

Even without having some tit ing their Christmas Cheer down the back of my neck, whilst his dozy lummox of a wife abandons her shopping cart in the middle of the aisle AGAIN as she waddles off to poke a mince pie three aisles down, Christmas Music sends me almost instantly psychotic.

Talk about bringing out the misanthrope - mine comes out like a trap-door covered in tinsel and anger!

You monkeys!

If I haven't killed you - hope you have a great Christmas.

The animal names which substitute swearing only adds to the humour.

Brilliant!

lmao soooo bloody true mate!!

"I am going to kick you in the Camel"

Jamz wrote:"I am going to kick you in the Camel"

LMMFAO

went and bought myself a new computer yesterday at a place called Bluewater in Kent. Was like a sodding beehive and the twats that bring thier bloody children also need thier camels kicked. The kids are nothing but zombies walking wherever they bloddy well want, and that includes your feet, which is exactly what i need carrying a grands worth of Sony product. I just dont get why people take children shopping, they are bored to complete fuckery.

ah an issue close to my heart.

WTF is with old ppl? they move slow enough any other day of the year but this year NOOOOOOO. they shuffle along and stop in front of you. yea right u septic old twat, like you cant see the place is heaving, i need to get to the pub and u just stop????? whats up. have you died on your feet? fucking shame if u havent.

And why is it when i walk thru town i walk 3 miles more than any other Camel cos i seem to be the wanker that moves out of the way. if i walked like that on a satdee night id get arrested for being pissed. CUNTS.

Oh and for the bible bashing street preachers, IF jesus is coming for fucks sake make sure he has a condom on cos im sick of you cunts waiting for him.

" cheer up its christmas" f*** OFF. its cost me 2 grand you w****ers.

Oh and merry fucking xmas to the Camel traffic warden who gave me a £80 ticket cos of the queues at the machine kept me waiting before i got the ticket then he told me tough, you fucking wonky eyed prick. ill knock you wonky eye straight u TWAT.



ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

diesel wrote: And why is it when i walk thru town i walk 3 miles more than any other Camel cos i seem to be the wanker that moves out of the way. if i walked like that on a satdee night id get arrested for being pissed. CUNTS.