Flood Warnings - But Not Of Rain!

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Jamz
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Flood Warnings - But Not Of Rain!

Post by Jamz »

That's right - today the weather reports DID say about a risk of floods. They did not, however, mention that they meant a big flood of C*nt-Monkeys in cars!

I worry for Wales where they're expecting to be 50mm deep in C*nt-Monkeys over the course of a very short space of time!

I awoke this morning to the sound of heavy rainfall. This isn't really a problem for me, because it's only rain and at worst I might get a bit wet. Boo-hoo. If you listen to some people who might have to walk all of 20 yards from their door to their car, you'd think they had to swim through cold dog snot. Bah!

(I would prefer it nice and dry, though.)

Today is Lill Boo's birthday, so I do have the mild drama of keeping cards and presents dry to get them to her, but more on my mind is the gang of Pikey's I've invited to trim my bush. not in a kinky way - just lopping half the height off two trees in the garden.

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I had a great discussion with Albert Steptoe (aged 21, pictured) who came knocking on my door last night. They've got a job up the road, blah blah, so offered to cut my trees and take them away. £160 usually *insert incredulous "f*** THAT!!" from me at the point he said this*, but he'd do it for £100. I said £40 max, and finally settled on £50. Cheap? I have nooooo idea! I suspect they'll either not take the cuttings or try to extort more money for the job...

So I left before they got there, taking it nice and easy on my usual route.

At one point after some traffic lights, there is a wide road that's only two lanes but you could probably get four in. Loads of room.

As the rest of the traffic was doing under 30mph in this 40 zone, I decided to overtake perfectly legally, by passing a car and still being well inside the lines separating the sides of the road.

Swervy McCunto, black BMW, decided he didn't like to see this happening, so as he was coming towards me he swerved sharply towards me, head-on!

Fking rotten goose-bred spam-fingered TW*T!

I had nowhere to go as I was alongside the other car, so just had to continue and luckily Swervy McCunto didn't fancy going the extra 6" to murder the biker this morning.

After realising I wasn't dead, a quick evaluation told me that I COULD turn around and catch up to him, but doing so in rain as heavy as it was would be a Bad Idea. Not that this has ever stopped me doing anything - but I was also running late!

Next time, Swervy... next time...

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My insurance settlement cheque also arrived this morning, so at lunchtime, with it still pouring, I had to get to Le Bonk and pay it in.

As I got to the Redditch Ring Road (don't bother visiting if you don't know it), the rain was even heavier. My visor was steamed up inside AND seemed to have more rain inside than outside of it. Standing water was everywhere on the roads.

I rode onto the three-laned, one-way ring road still in good spirits, followed it around as it curved to the right and then ARGHHHH!!!

Some twatbag in a small orange car, quite probably with their brainstem caught in the door, was actually REVERSING back through the monsoon conditions, on this one-way road, presumably because they'd missed their exit!

ARGHHHHH again for different reasons! People never fail to amaze me! I mean... just WHAT. THE. FK?

This is a ring road that's maybe a mile in total length before you're back where you started from!

Twatbag fully and completely deserved to get beeped at by a wildly gesticulating person on a ZX9R. I happily obliged to show them the error of their ways.

Sadly, because conditions were really that bad, I cannot confirm the sex of this driver. I'm hoping they were sexless and can't breed, anyway.

What is it with the rain that brings out a shower of dumbass monkeys?

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Who needs tyres when you've got knees!! :twisted:

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Re: Flood Warnings - But Not Of Rain!

Post by Scott221 »

I saw a transit van filtering through traffic the other day on a single lane road in the way of oncoming traffic. Fucking shocking.
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Jamz
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Re: Flood Warnings - But Not Of Rain!

Post by Jamz »

Scott221 wrote:I saw a transit van filtering through traffic the other day on a single lane road in the way of oncoming traffic. Fucking shocking.
LOL maybe he forgot he'd took the van instead of the bike??

More likely he's just another one who should be shot on sight, though! :smt013
Who needs tyres when you've got knees!! :twisted:

View my Blog: http://blog.myspace.com/nastyevilninja

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