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Don't panic, I haven't gone all illiterate on you! It's just a play on words.

Or is it words on play?

After the recent invasion of s big enough to use a fat girls tampon as a toothpick, there have been many new methods of dealing with them flying about the place.

Mainly because the buggers won't even fit under a pint glass for the catch and release method.

You can buy stuff that you spray all around the perimeter of your house, and it stops s getting in. This sounds like a great idea... until you consider that technically, this would also stop the s getting OUT of your house, and realistically, they're probably already in there. Possibly tucking four of their legs in and prancing about in front of the mirror wearing your underwear.

So short of just massacreing the monkeys as and when you see them, what options are left?

There's some gadget you can plug in that emits ultra-sonic sounds that the s don't like. This makes them run out of the house like a bunch of Brittney Spears fans realising they've turned up to a death metal gig by Spear Brittney.

Sounds good to me, but they're also pretty damn expensive. So that's out.

So imagine my surprise when my Mom produced a big bag of conkers.

Yes - conkers to conquer.

I'm not sure where she got it from, but she's been convinced that if you leave a handful of conkers in every room, it will repel s.

Spiders hate them.

Have any of you ever heard of this?

Is there any reason why they would hate conkers?

Well, I've been trying it just for the hell of it, and after a few days, admittedly I haven't seen any s yet.

Am I just as bloody mad as my Mum?

And if you want to join in this experiment - go get yourself a lod of conkers before the kids steal them!

well thats just nutty


get it nutty

could explain why i never find s around my conkers

well it just so happens, i went re-discovering my inner child at the weekend and managed to stumble over a carrier bag full o conkers!!!
So before the kids realise what they are, i might try this out....sounds as barmy as a fruit cake, but are any of us normal??

The other thing I'm thinking, is that if they're left in a house with central heating for a year - they'll be hard as fk in a years time!

Anyone up for a conker tournament this time next year??

ahh conker tournaments lol another old school thing that is now banned in most schools. even in the summer now you hardley see kids lobin sticks up conker trees like when i was a kid.

So very true,..up until moving this year, my kids had never seen a conker!! how sad is that...so this year they are gonna learn the art of conkering lol....see how many fingers they can rap

Your not the only one whose house has been invaded by these 8 leged freeks.

One night i was sitting here at my computer, window was open, and in the corner of my eye i spotted this black blob crawling up the curtains. This thing was about the size of my palm. It fucking scared the toad out of me first time i clocked it. I see them as stress relievers, sit there for a moment and think about inventive ways to end its annoying and ugly life.


My personal favourite is the lynx can + lighter.

Cooked tarantula anyone?

You can blame the warmer weather for the increase in s. Alot of natures friends are making the move, its getting too hot on the continent and certain animals are moving to cooler places, i.e. england and scotland. Soon you will all be dealing with poisonous s rather than harmless 8 legged dinner plate size buggers.

its cuz of all the daddy long legs we had that made the s grow so much aint it?

another suggestion/myth:
cut a pomegrante in half and put in the corner of your room. as it rots it doesnt emit any odor but does release a toxin s dont like. it really works!!!!!

gem

Gemini wrote:its cuz of all the daddy long legs we had that made the s grow so much aint it?

That's my theory! It seems obvious to me - I bet all these huge fuckers are a year old!

I haven't heard a single 'expert' back my theory up yet, though...

If the conkers fail, pomegranites it is!

they aint that bad i suppose. only if they bite you! besides they kill flys etc which are bag loads worse