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family problems

Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 1:19 pm
by d00ner
ok, as some of you might know, im 17, and looking to do my restricted license. problem being, i have spoke to my family about it, and they hate the idea. my mum is funny about bikes anyway, one of her mates was killed on one, but my dad is saying no aswell. i have pointed out that it is a lot cheaper (700 insurance at most) but they arent having any of it. i have thought about going behind thier back and doing it but dont think thats my best idea ever. any advice? (sorry if this is in the wrong section, i didnt know where to put it). thanks guys.

Re: family problems

Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 1:27 pm
by rene
my mum and dad were dead agenst it as well. I never expected them to like the idea but i gave them the choice of "i am buying it" there only option was to throw me out of the house. Its your choice not theres end of the day.

If your expecting them to pay for it then you are screwed.

Since passing my test my dad has got into bikes and now has a FJ1200 (not riden loads) but fact is he changed his outlook on them and admits he was wrong.

Re: family problems

Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 1:35 pm
by masterofinsanity
my old man wasn't happy at all when i got my first bike, he always said he wouldn't be pleased due to the amount bike accidents and deaths in the family but it didn't stop me, he even stresses now when i go out on the bike after riding for 10 years with no accidents (touch wood).

Re: family problems

Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 1:43 pm
by jake
if there dead against it, and you cant afford to move out....id say you might be a bit fooked fella. Maybee try and explain to them again the costs compared to a car, and you needing the indepedant transport for work/college, and the possibilty of harm due to uncontrolled domestic mass murder resulting from a build-up of stress as a direct result of no zxr

Re: family problems

Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 1:52 pm
by rene
why do people worry that much what your pairents think? I learnt a long time ago when my pairents court me smoking at 14, they might be pissed off and disapointed in you but end of the day its your life you live how you want to. Mumy and Daddy dont control your actions forever, your not 4 anymore and they need to let go of the reins.

Re: family problems

Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 1:53 pm
by Gemini
my mom didnt want me to have bikes and if my dad had still been alive at the time he wouldnt have been keen either

but a chap i know said to my mom the once, "i know u aint happy about it, but if u dont let him have his own then he will just go on the back of one of his friends bikes, and they may end up killing both of them. at least you know your lad is sensible and will take care of himself"

as soon as she heard that she just went along with it

gem

Re: family problems

Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 2:04 pm
by superman
my parents werent keen on it either but after 18 my mom was fine with it, my dad calls it a stupid machine or death trap still but im old enough to make my own mind up i would say wait till you hit 18 then they cant stop you from having a bike. simple. :smt003

Re: family problems

Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 2:39 pm
by jake
rene wrote:why do people worry that much what your pairents think? I learnt a long time ago when my pairents court me smoking at 14, they might be pissed off and disapointed in you but end of the day its your life you live how you want to. Mumy and Daddy dont control your actions forever, your not 4 anymore and they need to let go of the reins.

not knowing your background dude, and meaning no disrespect to ya, and i guess ive been blessed with biker/hippy parents, but surely parents should get unquestionable respect as a matter of course?
especially if you live under there roof...

if you get stuck tho dooner, ive got a tent for ya :smt002

Re: family problems

Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 2:41 pm
by jake
jeeze, disregard that dude.
how old do i sound! oldman

Re: family problems

Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 2:46 pm
by Jamz
Nobody ever said a word against me getting a bike. I think they knew I'd made the choice, and being a breach birth no doubt if they had forbidden it I'd have definitely done it anyway! :smt003

I get the impression now that my Dad actually worries about it more than my Mom, but they know it's what I love, and that's the end of any 'discussion' about it.

Everybody has an "I know someone who was killed on a bike! shocking " story.

I like to point out that i have about 5 "i know someone who was killed in a CAR! shocking " stories to every one of them. :smt013

And even worse than killing YOURSELF in a vehicle has to be killing SOMEONE ELSE.

If you f*** up in a car you can kill 10 people stood at a bus stop and go through the wall of a house - how would you live with yourself after that??? :smt018

f*** up on a bike and it's just you.

Re: family problems

Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 2:48 pm
by Jamz
Was it rachie from this site who passed her test, bought a VFR400 and kept it at her boyfriends house for around 2 years... then they split and the first her parents knew about it was when they split and she moved back home... with the bike?

:smt003

Re: family problems

Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 2:50 pm
by nitro_rhys
im 17 too, dont think my parents like me riding bikes but they have never tried to stop me. They have supported me really (first bike / test fees) , they know its what i want to do they never asked me to not go out or to stop riding but always get the 'be careful' lol think they just afraid of what could happen

Re: family problems

Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 3:02 pm
by masterofinsanity
Jamz wrote:Was it rachie from this site who passed her test, bought a VFR400 and kept it at her boyfriends house for around 2 years... then they split and the first her parents knew about it was when they split and she moved back home... with the bike?

:smt003
rachie_b whatever happened to her?

Re: family problems

Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 3:48 pm
by cargo
I'm old enough to be that parent............. shocking

Fact is riding motorcycles is dangerous people get killed doing it and I can totally understand you parents concerns.

Both my sons love motorcycles and it would be hypocritical of me to try and stop them..........I've riden for over 30 years my wife has always ridden too but didn't pass her test until last Feb................she is much younger.


Best advice I can give is that you should try and show your parents that you are going about it in a responsible way.

You don't acutally need to own a bike to start your training. So start taking your lessons and prove toyur parents that you can do it safely. It will be expensive to hire a bike for lessons but many of the training schools do just tthat. Maybe your instructor could help here once you've passed your CBT or what ever it's called now you can show you parents your certificate and have your instructor tell them how good you've been and how well you've done.
As you approach your actual test continue with you lessons anytime your on the road you WILL have an instructor with you. Prove to him how compentent you are. Get you test passed and show your mom/dad the pass cert (with no errors on it if you can).............

All of this can be done without actually buying a bike hopefully by this stage your mom/dad will begin to see how serious you are about this............you could mention advanced training and leave information for your parents to find :smt002

Show them the good work bikers do the charity stuff toy runs etc etc etc etc

Get them along to a track day show them how modern kit worn by bikers protects them in accidents

You could also try taking your car lessons at the same time as all of this as another way of trying to get across how responsible you are being.


You need to do everything you can to win them over but at the end of the day you CAN do whatever it is YOU want to do as a parent I know that day is coming soon enough and so will yours by eventually relenting to your desire to own and ride a bke they will be extending that time a little longer.............before you finaly fly the nest.

Good luck

Re: family problems

Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 4:07 pm
by kermit the frog
im looky, my dad rides so hes not so against it obviously.
but hes a driving instructor. (he owns a zx12r though) - (hiperctrit)

because my dad is all about being safe cuz hes an instructor i have had to prove to him that i can be responsible on it, no ragging the toad out of it in 30 zones, overtaking safely, etc,etc.

it has taken me since i was 16, i am now 18 and on my 4th bike and hes now starting to relax abit. its also taken many arguments and serious threats of him selling my bike and throwing me out. but in the end ive learned alot from his experiance and in return showed him that i can be responsible and we are both at a happy medium, he dosent mind the occasional mad moment like we all have and likewise i dont mind being boring and sticking to 30's and 40's - which isnt cool with my mates.

hope this helps, good luck.