Oh my effin god. First ive got to do another CBT cause my old one ran out. So I have to do a whole day looking very serious as a really old geezer who rides a gold wing tells me how to hold my helmet. I effin learned that years ago mate. So while i do hold me helmet he natters on, then please ride round the cones on this bike thats older than you are, remember to feather the throttle cause it is tOo decrepit to idle without death. Pretend the playground is a road, in 3degrees and rain.
![:smt017](./images/smilies/017.gif)
Then, "can you come back tomorrow please cause we left it too late this morning, we spent too long practicing holding our helmets"
You said it mate.
Now I have DONE my theory, £32 and my CBT, £120
All i need to do is my mod 1 and 2. Im 30, so I just want to do a couple hours before each test with the instructor, ride there, do it, and ride into the sunset.
"Noooooooooooooooo cant do it like that. We want to ride you. U can be our little put put and we'll rag the butt off you.
Youve got to do 3 days and a bit of a day riding round cones. £420. Then its £15 for the Mod 1 and £80 for the Mod 2."
But I just want to do a couple of hours with you before each test please.
"Didnt you hear what we said? theyll make you do so many fakin lifesavers youll DIE if you dont pay us £420 and ride around being drilled on our cheap shitty cb500s from the 80's doing the same toad over and over again."
Ok fine whatever your unwritten rules of motorcycle rape are. Do you book the tests?
Noooooooooooooooo you gotta do that yourself. But dont do it too soon or youll DIE. Book training with us first.
Ok fine but what if I book training with you then theres no test for 3 weeks?
Ok book the test but BE CAREFUL cause you want to book mod 2 a while after mod 1 cause you may well FAIL at mod 1 and then you pay for the MOD 2 anyway cause it will be tooooooo laaaaaatttte and the examiner will just have a coffe AT YOUR EXPENSE BE WARNED STUPID CIVILIAN.
Snap to johns tiny brain: "i canny deal with it captain, i just.... HAVENT GOT THE POOOOOOWR"
What am i supposed to do! So I go onto the DVLA website and.... No tests available.
f*** it.