Running Away Like A Big Sissy-Girl

[Jamz]

There are some things in life, that you can lift up your petticoat, and leg it away from.

Sometimes it's the wisest choice.

But in almost all cases - it's The Wrong Thing To Do.

One of the Big Wigs of the company I used to work (ha ha!) for, is in the toad. It's a classic tale, so I'm going to tell it.

The man - let's call him 'Rubberhead' because that's what he is - started this huge train of events one sunny afternoon by driving through a speed camera far too fast.

Hey - toad happens. But it had happened many times before. England runs a system where getting caught speeding is a fixed fine of £60 (I think) and 3 points on your driving license. You can have up to 12 points in total on your license - and more and it's an instant ban and you have to re-take your driving test for being a persistent retard.

Now, if Rubberhead admitted he'd done it - chances are he'd have lost his license.

Luckily (according to Rubberhead), it wasn't actually him who was driving the car at the time. It was some -ing Bulgarian contractor he'd employed *nudge nudge wink wink*

He informed the authorities of this, then, to validate his story, he sent his wife off on a plane to Bulgaria, where she wrote on a postcard something like this:

"Hi from Bulgaria!

I am plesed to av worked for you in your beautiful cuntry! I especially enjoyed very much driving your car down the M6 on Thursday 9th July at 4.47pm!

It moves fast for German trash, no? Ha ha!

I look forward very much to coming back to rape your budgie - is that English right? - and thanking you for work!

Your Bulgarian friend and contractor,

Vladimir Suckmydikyabitch"

Cunning plan, huh?

The Police replied saying :

"Thanks for you friends postcard! We understand now.

Please come to a party at Yourfucked County Court House, so we can play 'Pass The Parcel' with a charge of Perverting The Course Of Justice, then take away your jelly and icecream and driving license."

Luckily again, Rubberhead decides it's the perfect opportunity for him to go and attend to the new business premises setting up in Dubai.

Time flies and, oh dear! He's missed the party!

So instead of a light slap on the wrist, Rubberhead has an outstanding arrest warrant for the second he steps off the plane back in the UK.

And everyone lived happily ever after (although Rubberhead never slept again for worry).

What a -ing idiot.

[Rob636]

eerrr yeees i thank u 4 de wurk en youur countree, i shell taken yous moaney tax tree o curze an shell buy a bisnus bak homme an rent mainy gurly out

[masterofinsanity]

what the f*** are you on jamz

[rene]

bet he used to get the piss riped out of him at school "oi dildo fingers"

[RedexRobB]

Yes indeed, there are times when you should just plain admit to being a cock fingered sex toy.

[Rob636]

Yes indeed, there are times when you should just plain admit to being a cock fingered sex toy.

to quote " a Dildo "