Kudos to Jamz.

[Vard66]

I have just spent the last hour or so, intently reading each and every one of the topics in the 'Jamz's Rants/Raves' section, all the way through. I have to say there can only be about five minutes throughout, that I wasn't laughing my leather-perched butt off.
If anyone had been here to witness said spectacle, they would probably have laughed like a drain too, for several reasons; -

Firstly, and foremost, I have been ill today, and because of that, have spent the entire day sweating like a fat hog in mating season, and extremely uncomfortable, so naturally, when I got home, I removed any item of clothing that was making me overly warm, and consequently I am sat here in my birthday suit.

Secdonly, because I have been so uncomfortable all day, I am sat with the windows of my room wide open, and two desktop fans pointed at me blowing on full blast, so any laugh I uttered was distorted by the sound of the two fans.

Thirdly, again because I am not well, I have almost no voice left, and any utterance that does manage to sound from my swollen throat ranges up and down the octaves more frequently than Matt Bellamy when he's performing drunk. So me laughing sounded oddly like a negative sound, if you can imagine it, like the sound of reversing the sound of someone speaking, a-la the episode of Red Dwarf, titled 'Backwards', and it sounded utterly inhuman.

Fourhtly, I am an asthmatic, and so much laughter rather tightened my chest, causing me to wheeze a fair bit. So in between these odd, negative sounding, fan distorted, multi octave-ranged gales of laughter, there would be a giant 'Hunnnnnnnnnnnnnng!' of me taking in breath.

Fifthly, I am sat in a leather armchair, and so my skin is sticking to it somewhat. So when I was reeling about with laugher, when I pulled foward away from the chair, there would be a great big 'Ssssschhhlllllourpp!' sound, to further add to the cacophany of bizarre noises.

Picture that if you dare.

So I say this. Thank you, Jamz. I've not laughed so hard in a very long time, and reading your posts made me laugh so hard it nearly killed me tonight. May you keep your rantings up, keep them hilariously written and keep amusing us all.

On another note, there are a few things in there that I heartily agree with, and some extremely pertinent ones I feel you have missed out on, perhaps I shall try to add them, if I feel they should be deemed worthy of ranting about with such vigour.

[RedexRobB]

Jamz is a legend!

[masterofinsanity]

Jamz

[Jamz]

Cheers Vard! I'm happy anyone reads the stuff I write, and I'm chuffed to bits if it's made anyone laugh/think/angry!

Have to say your post made me laugh, too - and I can imagine exactly that sucking leathery chair sound lol!

There's a lot more over on MySpace that I don't post on here beause I try to at least keep the stuff here relevant or amusing - but as I'm writing my blogs completely freestyle some flop big-time, too!

Hope you get well soon, and if you die reading my stuff then tough titty because I'm not liable!!!