family problems

[deviant]

Again, as with several other people on here, my parents weren't (and probably still aren't) particularly keen on the idea. I had the advantage over you that I didn't start riding till I went away to uni, and I'd just spent a year working full time. So I could pay for everything and I didn't need to keep it at home. You may be ok on the first point but I'm guessing you're stuck on the second.

Once my parents figured out that I was going to do it anyway, they were actually quite supportive - they bought my first lid for me, presumably on the principle that if I was going to do it then I ought to be kitted out properly.

I think now they are pretty resigned to the fact that I am going to keep on riding whatever. My dad occasionally makes comments to my wife (who I introduced to biking) about how she should buy a nice car (rather than the combination of shitty car and bike that she has), but I think he's given up on me .

Unfortunately, if your parents don't ride, then the only things they hear about bikes are people doing stupid things and getting hurt. I've done tens of thousands of miles on bikes with (touch wood) no harm coming to me. One of my best mates has probably racked up some sort of 6 figure mileage and fallen off once - on a trackday, and again with no injury. But unless you ride bikes you don't know about the majority of people that spectacularly fail to crash and die.

In terms of constructive advice...

- don't do stuff behind their backs, but be prepared to do it whether they approve or not - not in a "f*** you I won't do what you tell me" kinda way. Just have the means to pay for everything yourself, have a plan of how you are going to pass your test, all the safety kit you will need (buy this before the bike). Just try and give the impression that you know what you are doing and you have considered everything.

- consider taking it fairly slowly. Think about planning to buy a 125 and racking up some miles on that - you can point out that it's a nice small, safe bike, and you're not rushing out to buy some crazy big bike. Plus it's cheaper for you - I spent maybe a grand on my first bike, kit, and insurance combined. And frankly, I had great fun riding my 125.

- again, when you get round to your test, do everything by the book and make sure your parents know that you are taking it seriously. No "restricted" sports bikes.

Ultimately, if you can't bring your parents round by reasoned argument and showing you've considered it carefully, then you're fecked till you move out.

Dunno if any of this helps.

[Xphyral]

there are around 1.1-1.2million active riders in the UK, and in 2006 there were 599 motorcyclists killed(only figure i could find), thats like 0.049% of the population that ride bikes are killed every year. it's quite easy not to become one of them.

If it's your own money your spending, i dont see how they can really stop you. threatening to kick you out of the house is more of a sure fire way of losing a son than letting you ride a motorcycle.

[rene]

got to remember as well most deaths are born again riders (30+) thinking that there 2lt power house focus qulifes them to do direct access and get a gixxer 1000.

[Xphyral]

i know thats the usual saying but i cant any figures to that effect so it's wrong really to put that down, it's bad enough having to use government collected statistics without introducing urban myths

[rene]

Was in ride a few months ago that over 70% of motorbike deaths are by people over 28 iirc. You've only got to go riding with a borning again rossi once to belive the figures.

[crushedlizard]

Yeah I think it is true that the most common age group is 30-49. Trouble is that's probably the most common age group who own motorcycles. But there was a feature in Ride about how many fatalities could easily have been avoided - that is, the machine was well within it's limits, but the rider clearly wasn't.

But anyway, everyone seems to have pretty much covered everything. My parents weren't too happy but the fact I bought full leathers, and decent kit showed I was taking it seriously. If you buy a £30 helmet and ride in trackies and trainers you're not gonna come off well in both respects.

[Xphyral]

is 30 really a born again biker? did they happen to mention the age with the highest number of fatalities? and is 19 years really an age group? seems an awfully broad spectrum but then again statistics never look as impressive when you actually get to see real figures do they?

[Gemini]

personally i would class a born again biker as late 40s early 50s

gem

[Caz]

bit of a tricky one this, alot of people have given some very good advice.... I'll add my 2p worth in.


Like alot of people on here - my mother was not happy about me having a bike, but I had already been driving for 4 years and I was at uni and not living at home by the time I got round to do my test.

Best advice I can offer is to be upfront with your parents, they are only against you having a bike because they care about you and they are worried!

As a couple of people have said; maybe try doing your car test first - get some experience on the road.

You could also point out to them that you could just go ahead and do your CBT and ride a 125 around on L plates for two years like a lot of people do, but you are doing your restricted licence to get more training.

something that may set their mind at rest is if you do some additional traing. I thoroughly recommend doing a "Rapid Road Skills day", I think it cost in the region of £150 and you are basically followed around by an off-duty copper - they will work on anything that you want to; road positioning / corner speed / obersvation / riding smoothly etc. It's money well spent anyway, and it may help reassure your parents.

show them good quality bike gear and tell them that you will wear it


Dont get into an argument with them, just try again another day. I dont want to sound patronising here, but you are young and you need to prove to them that you are mature & responsible enough to handle a motorbike. AND, IMO, the first step is to talk to them about it in a rational manner. If your parents are anything like mine were, they will still think of you as being about 12!!

Good luck, n keep us posted.

/Caz

[cargo]

personally i would class a born again biker as late 40s early 50s

gem

Thanks a million.........

[Gemini]

but you haven't had a break from bikes have u

i knew a chap who road bikes as a youngster, then settled down and became a succesful business man, owning porsches and other fast nice cars,

one day he decided to get back into bikes, bought some 1000cc sportsbike smashed it up and killed himself first weekend he had it

gem

[Jamz]

Was it rachie from this site who passed her test, bought a VFR400 and kept it at her boyfriends house for around 2 years... then they split and the first her parents knew about it was when they split and she moved back home... with the bike?

rachie_b whatever happened to her?

She's still mooching about on Visordown and The Rev Counter as 'ArSix'.

[RedexRobB]

havent heard about rachie for a while!

I think it was 'shivy' who had the zxr400 and had that hidden from her parents.

My dad rode bikes, he didnt mind me getting a moped, but as soon as i started talking about getting a bigger bike he didnt like the idea so much, Saying that all i need it for is to get from A to B, why would i need anything bigger?

But me being as stubborn and determined as he is i went and bought a bigger bike anyway. My mum has always been cool about me riding a bike, as she has always been on the back of my dads or in a side car (snigger).

Its always a difficult this question tho, but as cargo said, proving your serious about riding bikes and doing it safely is going to settle alot of thier concerns. Of course, you can go buy a bike anyway and sod the concequences, what the repercusions for you i dont know. If your like any other biker you'll get a bike regardless, you just need to score a hapy medium with your parents.

[Brett]

The reason your parents don't think you're gonna ride safely is cos you're not. They are your parents. You cannot lie to them, and they will not lie to you. Think about what you would do, how you're gonna ride? When you decide that you will ride safely(well safely within reason)they'll respect your decision. they know stuff, loads of stuff. They done it before you. Mum knows best.

[Brett]

What a gay message. I'm banning myself from the computer when I'm drunk.