What's The Funniest Injury You Ever Had?
Moderator: Moderators
- Jamz
- zxr400 oc member
- Posts: 2034
- Joined: Tue Sep 17, 2002 4:21 pm
- My Bike: Kawasaki ZX9-R C2
- Location: Alvechurch, Near Birmingham
- Contact:
What's The Funniest Injury You Ever Had?
I know it may not have seemed funny at the time, but sometimes hurting yourself in strange and unusual ways can be -ing hilarious.
Maybe you got a papercut on your eyeball, had a BBQ explosion disaster, trod on a rake, fell off a rope swing...??
What's the best you've had or witnessed?
Maybe you got a papercut on your eyeball, had a BBQ explosion disaster, trod on a rake, fell off a rope swing...??
What's the best you've had or witnessed?
- Jamz
- zxr400 oc member
- Posts: 2034
- Joined: Tue Sep 17, 2002 4:21 pm
- My Bike: Kawasaki ZX9-R C2
- Location: Alvechurch, Near Birmingham
- Contact:
Re: What's The Funniest Injury You Ever Had?
I have a noggin-clonking story...
One day around my mates house, he pissed me off somehow, and I ended up chasing him down the stairs.
Now, the stairs had a wall overhang from the room above. It wasn't usually a problem, but of course when you're bounding down the stairs, you're lifting off the ground a fair bit more than usual...
The inevitable happened, and i just remember suddenly being on my back *thump thump thump* sliding down all the stairs and finishing in a heap at the bottom staring upwards.
A quick touch to the top of my head revealed a few inches of hair and scalp were missing and my head was spewing out nasty yellow fluids from the wound.
It took a good few minutes for the pain to come... Just time enough for me to pull bits of my scalp off the ceiling so nobody else saw...

One day around my mates house, he pissed me off somehow, and I ended up chasing him down the stairs.
Now, the stairs had a wall overhang from the room above. It wasn't usually a problem, but of course when you're bounding down the stairs, you're lifting off the ground a fair bit more than usual...
The inevitable happened, and i just remember suddenly being on my back *thump thump thump* sliding down all the stairs and finishing in a heap at the bottom staring upwards.
A quick touch to the top of my head revealed a few inches of hair and scalp were missing and my head was spewing out nasty yellow fluids from the wound.
It took a good few minutes for the pain to come... Just time enough for me to pull bits of my scalp off the ceiling so nobody else saw...

- masterofinsanity
- Site Admin
- Posts: 8111
- Joined: Thu Aug 29, 2002 12:36 am
- My Bike: Aprilia Tuono Fighter
- Location: England
- Contact:
Re: What's The Funniest Injury You Ever Had?
having a water fight with the missus a couple of years ago as i was chasing her round the garden she screamed as women do and her dog decided to rip my leg off, 4 hours in casualty and a few stitches later and my leg was twice the size it should be, the dog gets a chew for being protective.
Don't forget people there is more to the zxr400 than this forum... check out www.zxrworld.co.uk also.
- RedexRobB
- Site Admin
- Posts: 7212
- Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2002 7:37 pm
- My Bike: ZXR400L3
- Location: Ipswich, Suffolk
Re: What's The Funniest Injury You Ever Had?
PMSL @ Baz
Not sure the funniest injury ive ever had. The funniest ive seen is my landlord having apendicitis the fucking poof, he threw up in the thoilet and then askd me to call an ambulance cos 'its and emergency'. So hard to keep a straight face when a hypercondriac is in pain
The nastiest ive ever had i think was cutting my head open, i tripped and landed on a metal bar from a toy trolley my brother had, gashed my head open proper and had 13 stitches iirc. Went to the doctors a week later to have them taken out and all healed up. the nurse said 'see you later'. Got home, got out the back of the car fell and whacked my head on the lamppost outside my house and RE-OPENED the original wound! Those words from the nurse doomed me!

Not sure the funniest injury ive ever had. The funniest ive seen is my landlord having apendicitis the fucking poof, he threw up in the thoilet and then askd me to call an ambulance cos 'its and emergency'. So hard to keep a straight face when a hypercondriac is in pain

The nastiest ive ever had i think was cutting my head open, i tripped and landed on a metal bar from a toy trolley my brother had, gashed my head open proper and had 13 stitches iirc. Went to the doctors a week later to have them taken out and all healed up. the nurse said 'see you later'. Got home, got out the back of the car fell and whacked my head on the lamppost outside my house and RE-OPENED the original wound! Those words from the nurse doomed me!
-
- Full Licence rider
- Posts: 1372
- Joined: Fri Feb 16, 2007 10:36 am
- Location: Wolverhampton
Re: What's The Funniest Injury You Ever Had?
I got a couple first i was about 10 playin tracker in the woods chasing someone an fell over a stump an a stick wint up my nose an broke off blood pissed out it didnt hurt but everyone said it looked painful i just pulled the stick out an off home i went
the other i was 17 went clubbin was in the beach an they had these steps by the DJ as i went to walk down em someone spillt beer on the metal nosing an i slipped butt over tit smashed my butt bone off 4 of the 5 steps ( the very bone when you smash you just wana clinch your butt cheeks together an run round screamin with the benny hill music in the background) instead at the bottom of the stairs were a bunch of fit birds
so i had to hold the pain in till i got round the corner.

the other i was 17 went clubbin was in the beach an they had these steps by the DJ as i went to walk down em someone spillt beer on the metal nosing an i slipped butt over tit smashed my butt bone off 4 of the 5 steps ( the very bone when you smash you just wana clinch your butt cheeks together an run round screamin with the benny hill music in the background) instead at the bottom of the stairs were a bunch of fit birds

Remember speed kills, so does smoking, drinking, drugs, fast food and many more good things
-
- zxr400 oc member
- Posts: 584
- Joined: Tue Feb 06, 2007 7:48 pm
- My Bike: Unique ZXR400
- Location: Little Sutton Cheshire
Re: What's The Funniest Injury You Ever Had?
I fell over a trailer draw bar, this is an agricultural trailer mind, so its not an easy to miss fkr, walking along looking at something else and my shin connected with an extremly hefty draw bar, I rolled over it into mud swearing in pain.
Also when I was 3, I tripped over the hoover, and my head smashed into the sharp corner of a beading on a wooden cabinet. Just beneath my nose, had to have it glued up and it has never gone back how it was.
Also when I was 3, I tripped over the hoover, and my head smashed into the sharp corner of a beading on a wooden cabinet. Just beneath my nose, had to have it glued up and it has never gone back how it was.
Andy


-
- zxr400 oc member
- Posts: 355
- Joined: Mon May 07, 2007 11:38 pm
- My Bike: ZZR1100C3
- Location: Nottingham
- Contact:
Re: What's The Funniest Injury You Ever Had?
I dunno why, probably something to do with the curvature of the seat, but on my old GPZ500s I had to shave my balls to stop from tearing them out every time I went over a bump.
A complicated layering system compounded by grippy panties.
Nuff said.
The downside is I now have a leathery sack from all those years of being baby smooth.
Should have used cream ..
Does this meet the criteria?
A complicated layering system compounded by grippy panties.
Nuff said.
The downside is I now have a leathery sack from all those years of being baby smooth.
Should have used cream ..
Does this meet the criteria?
zxr400 h2 (breaking)
zzr1100c3 (broken)
Vespa et4 (almost broken)
My FleaBay
"Save the planet, eat a vegan .." - Clarkson
zzr1100c3 (broken)
Vespa et4 (almost broken)
My FleaBay
"Save the planet, eat a vegan .." - Clarkson
- RedexRobB
- Site Admin
- Posts: 7212
- Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2002 7:37 pm
- My Bike: ZXR400L3
- Location: Ipswich, Suffolk
Re: What's The Funniest Injury You Ever Had?
So you now have a cleff (SP) lip?Northern ANdy wrote:Also when I was 3, I tripped over the hoover, and my head smashed into the sharp corner of a beading on a wooden cabinet. Just beneath my nose, had to have it glued up and it has never gone back how it was.
Gubbs, its sure funny, but not very painful.

- Jamz
- zxr400 oc member
- Posts: 2034
- Joined: Tue Sep 17, 2002 4:21 pm
- My Bike: Kawasaki ZX9-R C2
- Location: Alvechurch, Near Birmingham
- Contact:
Re: What's The Funniest Injury You Ever Had?
LOL Gubbs! Any excuse!!!
My mate Harley did a classic that I was there to witness...
We were pissing about underneath a low canal bridge, with some woods on one side. I think we were throwing things towards some kids, and shouting insults at them.
This bridge went under the canal, so was quite a long, dark tunnel. We hung around there lots, but on this day they'd just coated the entire thing with about 6" thick shotblasting.
Harley shouted something, and we went to leg it through the tunnel, only it was lower than any other time we'd ran through, and he was just tall enough that his very first, full power step ground the top of his head against the shotblasting, leaving a two foot long scrape of his scalp and hair on the roof!
It was piss funny, but at the same time the poor bloke actually went into shock from the pain!
Mixed with a good healthy dose of rage at the world, too!
It was still on the roof of the tunnel for at least the next 5 years....

My mate Harley did a classic that I was there to witness...
We were pissing about underneath a low canal bridge, with some woods on one side. I think we were throwing things towards some kids, and shouting insults at them.
This bridge went under the canal, so was quite a long, dark tunnel. We hung around there lots, but on this day they'd just coated the entire thing with about 6" thick shotblasting.
Harley shouted something, and we went to leg it through the tunnel, only it was lower than any other time we'd ran through, and he was just tall enough that his very first, full power step ground the top of his head against the shotblasting, leaving a two foot long scrape of his scalp and hair on the roof!
It was piss funny, but at the same time the poor bloke actually went into shock from the pain!
Mixed with a good healthy dose of rage at the world, too!
It was still on the roof of the tunnel for at least the next 5 years....
- diesel
- zxr400 oc member
- Posts: 512
- Joined: Wed Oct 09, 2002 5:47 pm
- My Bike: Zx7r
- Location: Kings Lynn, Norfolk
- Contact:
Re: What's The Funniest Injury You Ever Had?
yea i got one.i have two rottweilers and i was pissed up one day and thought id taunt the oldest by slapping my dick over her face. was well funny watching it until she bit it. twas a bit sore after that 

-
- L-plate hell
- Posts: 285
- Joined: Fri May 18, 2007 8:33 am
- My Bike: zxr 400 h1
- Location: Norwich , norfolk
Re: What's The Funniest Injury You Ever Had?
ive had a few....
under a concor tree when i was little as first school, collecting concors as you do. Someone else threw a bloody great flint into the tree to knock more down, only it came down and stuck right into the top of my head. 5 year old walking across the feild with blood pissing out of my head crying, with this flint just stuck in my head, teachers face was a picture i can tell ya.
other time riding one of those old granny
bike things. 3 gears, dont change gear while standing up. They go bloody fast when your going for it and me n my mate were racing, i stood up to get more speed from pedling harder, changed gear and front wheel just locked up dead. Straight over the handlebars in a split second. SMashed my face on the floor breaking my color bone at the same time, kept passin out on the walk home die to the pain.
ANd my little sis also smasshed my front tooth when she stomped on my head in the living room when the carpets were pulled up. Two teethmarks in the concreat along with shattered teeth particles lol. COW
ANd i used to do a lot of aggressive inline skating. Ramps, half pipes, rail slides etc, went to milton keynes with mates for a skate and found a rail outside the law corts that was a bit high, but managed to get on it plenty of times and sliding nicely. Got a bit toooo confident thinking im wonderful and split legged the rail killing all future children and sex life lol. man that hurt, my full weight down on my nuts, and im not a small bloke lol Got a vid of it somewhere on my old cam but cant get cam to work. :smt013
under a concor tree when i was little as first school, collecting concors as you do. Someone else threw a bloody great flint into the tree to knock more down, only it came down and stuck right into the top of my head. 5 year old walking across the feild with blood pissing out of my head crying, with this flint just stuck in my head, teachers face was a picture i can tell ya.
other time riding one of those old granny

ANd my little sis also smasshed my front tooth when she stomped on my head in the living room when the carpets were pulled up. Two teethmarks in the concreat along with shattered teeth particles lol. COW
ANd i used to do a lot of aggressive inline skating. Ramps, half pipes, rail slides etc, went to milton keynes with mates for a skate and found a rail outside the law corts that was a bit high, but managed to get on it plenty of times and sliding nicely. Got a bit toooo confident thinking im wonderful and split legged the rail killing all future children and sex life lol. man that hurt, my full weight down on my nuts, and im not a small bloke lol Got a vid of it somewhere on my old cam but cant get cam to work. :smt013

- boldaholic
- Posts: 56
- Joined: Fri Apr 13, 2007 3:01 pm
- My Bike: tomos moped
- Location: Lincoln
- Contact:
Re: What's The Funniest Injury You Ever Had?
when i was in school about 9 years ago this must of been, we all had a week long school trip and there was a temporary outdoor ice skating arena near our hotel. it was a raised platform about 4 /5 feet off the ground i guess so they can cool the ice from underneath.
I'd spent a year playing hockey on roller skates which is different but the same principal so being mr cocky to my mates and a couple of lasses we were with i set off at what felt like 100mph straight towards the other side whilst proposing someone raced me!!
there were two flaws with my plan:
1: roller skates have stoppers/brakes and i didnt know how to wtop on ice
2: The sides to the ice were barely above knee height.
I ended up over the barriers and crashing into a spectator eating their chips!! Needless to say, no one was impressed and i had to buy someone some chips!!
I'd spent a year playing hockey on roller skates which is different but the same principal so being mr cocky to my mates and a couple of lasses we were with i set off at what felt like 100mph straight towards the other side whilst proposing someone raced me!!
there were two flaws with my plan:
1: roller skates have stoppers/brakes and i didnt know how to wtop on ice
2: The sides to the ice were barely above knee height.
I ended up over the barriers and crashing into a spectator eating their chips!! Needless to say, no one was impressed and i had to buy someone some chips!!
You are only young once but you can be immature forever!!!!!
-
- zxr400 oc member
- Posts: 584
- Joined: Tue Feb 06, 2007 7:48 pm
- My Bike: Unique ZXR400
- Location: Little Sutton Cheshire
Re: What's The Funniest Injury You Ever Had?
lol no its nothing like a clef lip. Just a thin line, fuked If i know what its made of, might be skin or glue hahaRobB wrote:So you now have a cleff (SP) lip?Northern ANdy wrote:Also when I was 3, I tripped over the hoover, and my head smashed into the sharp corner of a beading on a wooden cabinet. Just beneath my nose, had to have it glued up and it has never gone back how it was.
Gubbs, its sure funny, but not very painful.
Andy


-
- Posts: 95
- Joined: Sat Mar 24, 2007 9:01 am
- My Bike: tomos moped
- Contact:
Re: What's The Funniest Injury You Ever Had?
Well not funny for me at least because its the most pain I have ever felt in my life.
I broke my Big toe on my right foot...
This happened when I was about 12 or 13 but i was walking down the stairs in my house and I slipped on one of the steps and my Big Toe stopped me from falling all the way down! It managed to rip the nail off most of the way with the force I hit my toe on the Stair, So when i took my sock off i was nearly gagging with the sight and the pain. I couldnt walk for about a month as I couldn't put any weight on the ball of my foot.
It hurt sooo bad and has never really healed properly and is pretty wonky to add and thats 12 years on.
I also had the unfortunate experience of breaking my big toe on my left foot as well. This was done while playing hocky at school a couple years later, This was also excutiatingly painfull and couldn't walk properly for a couple of weeks
I know it sounds a bit lame breaking big toes but its just really awkward as you cant walk properly for ages afterwards
I broke my Big toe on my right foot...
This happened when I was about 12 or 13 but i was walking down the stairs in my house and I slipped on one of the steps and my Big Toe stopped me from falling all the way down! It managed to rip the nail off most of the way with the force I hit my toe on the Stair, So when i took my sock off i was nearly gagging with the sight and the pain. I couldnt walk for about a month as I couldn't put any weight on the ball of my foot.
It hurt sooo bad and has never really healed properly and is pretty wonky to add and thats 12 years on.
I also had the unfortunate experience of breaking my big toe on my left foot as well. This was done while playing hocky at school a couple years later, This was also excutiatingly painfull and couldn't walk properly for a couple of weeks
I know it sounds a bit lame breaking big toes but its just really awkward as you cant walk properly for ages afterwards
Re: What's The Funniest Injury You Ever Had?
Not really had a funny injury but the Cleff lip reminded me of my mate who nearly got his face smashed in.Northern ANdy wrote:lol no its nothing like a clef lip. Just a thin line, fuked If i know what its made of, might be skin or glue hahaRobB wrote:So you now have a cleff (SP) lip?Northern ANdy wrote:Also when I was 3, I tripped over the hoover, and my head smashed into the sharp corner of a beading on a wooden cabinet. Just beneath my nose, had to have it glued up and it has never gone back how it was.
Gubbs, its sure funny, but not very painful.
He was talking to a bloke with a cleffed lip and not knowing he was born with it said to him
"So what do you do as a sport.....boxing or rugby"
